Blogs From The Bathroom - Episode 1: 7 Days Left
I have a friend who put in their two weeks at a job they hated.
Great feeling. I have done it before.
So to commemorate the final days in the office, my buddy decided to document how they will be filling in those last 40 hours as they head toward unemployment — AND finding a job they love.
Enjoy this short series to explore how you can really waste time on someone else’s dime.
*Also to note this is the most aggressive thing that has ever been posted on my blog, but it’s very entertaining to read.
Ever wonder what goes through someone’s mind when they have given their 2 weeks notice at a job they hate but still have to go into the office for those 2 weeks? Well let me give you some insight into the process in a series I call “Blogs from the Bathroom”… you know, since I shouldn’t be writing this at work."Episode 1: 7 Days leftHere’s the background story to this blog: I work as a Special Events Planner for a company in NYC. I work 12 to 14 hour days regularly, sleep about 3 hours a night, and have so much stress that I was getting physically sick. On top of this, I am a one man department overseeing relationships with 8 bars in the city, 2 event venues, and have an event staff of 15 reporting directly to me. Oh yeah: my boss thinks I don’t do anything, and after sitting in her office and telling her I was “ready to blow my fucking brains out” if I didn’t get any help, still hasn’t gotten me any help in 4 months. But this is not a blog about complaining about a shitty job, but instead one of taking matters into my own hands… because I put in my 2 weeks notice this past thursday and am getting the fuck out of here.I have never really quit a job before, so I wasn’t ready for the awkwardness that is the 2 weeks you still have to work in a 2 weeks notice. Its kind of a grey area between employment & unemployment, between caring a little and entirely not giving a fuck, between being a contributing member of society and becoming the party animal that you can’t actually afford to be. This is my attempt to document some of the things I’ve been doing in the office to make it look like I have been working when in all actuality I am doing less work then I ever have in my life.Today’s task to occupy my attention span (or lack there of): Office DJ. In my office, we play music so we don’t all flip our shit and turn this stressbox into an updated, flabbier version of “Fight Club”. Usually, the music is some indie hipster brooklyn crap, but I decided to flip the script today and play DJ via Hostile Takeover. Today’s playlist has included Mos Def, Every Time I Die, Metric, Kanye West, Lifetime, I Am The Avalanche, A Tribe Called Quest, and Blood For Blood. No, that is not a list of records returned to Newbury Comics by 8 random people, but that has been the soundtrack to low productivity all day today. Has it pissed off some of my coworkers? You betcha. Do I give a fuck? Absolutely not.The other way I found to pass the time today was trying to figure out all this SOPA shit thats taking place. Look, the internet is like Unicorns, Janet Jackson’s super bowl titty, and david bowie’s sexuality: they are all things that appear out of thin air that you just don’t fuck with. No one is going to be taking away the internet. Its not going to happen. Im not blacking out the internet, so the internet should stop blacking out today and fucking up my carefully crafted time wasting plans for the day. Get over it, move on. Free porn, wait sorry, I mean “the internet” isn’t going anywhere.Well, I think its time to go back to my desk and get back to work (ed. note - resume DJ skills). Until tomorrow… stay employed, unless you hate that shit. Then tell it to fuck off.