So here we are, nine days into the brand new shiny year that is 2012…
I honestly have never really felt like the date changing was a fresh start — until this year.
I had a lovely holiday with my family in Cincinnati, OH. Spending most days with a five and two year old playing with Legos, watching Disney movies and realizing that perhaps I might make a pretty great mom someday. My brother’s two little boys are incredible and being around children can change your whole perspective on life.
I got to see my parents and my two older brothers who I honestly love to hang out with and make me laugh harder than anyone who has ever attempted to make me laugh. They are both so different but when we are all together we have the best time. But that is not the best part of my time away.
Aside from getting bronchitis (I seem to always get sick on family vacations) I felt relaxed and worry free for almost 12 entire days. I did not stress about the uncertainties of my life or have an ounce of anxiety. I did not worry, play the ‘what if’ game at 1 am, and I ate three meals each day (that will make anyone feel great). Felt amazing to gather up hugs and just enjoy myself — and breathe.
All of that was until about 4 hours before my flight back to California. As I had to say goodbye to my nephews I suddenly began to cry realizing that I had to head back into the storm of my life in LA. That I had all of these unresolved details of my life to figure out. My oldest brother then asked me one simple question that put everything back into perspective… And soon comforted me.
"Do you still have any fight left in you?"
And the answer is, hell yes I do.
2011 was a year of being giving things, having them taken away, having people come in and out… and then back into my life, having things ruptured, having things repaired, having to take care of things on my own, having amazing friends have my back, having a family who believe in my abilities and having one person finally acknowledge and apologize for how they have treated me unfairly.
It was a year that tested my patience and my tenacity. Being a 20 something is not easy. Having the dream job, the perfect relationship or finally finding the perfect balance of both are all on our minds — and can make anyone feel inadequate if we do not have the complete set. But the best thing I can do this year is just strive to make myself happy first and give myself a break sometimes that I don’t have it all figured out, because none of us do yet! …. Really Sara.
In August for my birthday I got a tattoo. I honestly never in a million years thought I would because what would I ever want forever that would be significant. Well I got a simple phrase, “be alive” in my handwriting behind my left year. Enjoy the moment, don’t fret over what I cannot control, be alive.
So far so good. This new blank calendar does feel like a fresh start with endless possibilities.
I always like even numbered years better anyway.
PS. be alive